


i don't care about what's fair anymore.

by NARWHALTALE



Series: The Saiouma Childhood Friend Chronicles [6]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Abandonment, Actor Oma Kokichi, Aggressive Oma Kokichi (at first), Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Bitter Oma Kokichi, Coffee Shops, Drunk Saihara Shuichi, Friends to Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Insomniac Oma Kokichi, Kokichi lives alone, Kokichi takes care of him, Locally Famous Oma Kokichi, Locally Famous Saihara Shuichi, M/M, Not Beta Read, POV Alternating, POV Third Person, Saihara Shuichi Overthinking, Shuichi has an obsession with cuddles, regaining trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29584674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NARWHALTALE/pseuds/NARWHALTALE
Summary: Kokichi stepped out of his room, yawning and cracking his back. Five hours of sleep wasn’t bad, not for him, at least. He had no gigs today, either, so he could just lay around today.He stepped into his kitchen for some cereal and a Panta, and -Oh.Saihara sat there, scrolling through his phone. He was sipping water from a glass taken from his cabinet, and he was picking at a slice of toast.“I’m going to call Miu.” Kokichi said simply.Saihara quickly looked up, fumbling with his phone and trying to meet Kokichi’s eyes. “H-Hey, O-Ouma-kun, can we talk? P-Please?”“No.” Kokichi said dismissively. He slammed his fridge open harder than necessary and saw Saihara flinch when it hit his chair.“...that’s fair.”
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Iruma Miu (implied), Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Series: The Saiouma Childhood Friend Chronicles [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034895
Comments: 14
Kudos: 76





	i don't care about what's fair anymore.

Four in the morning again. 

Ah, insomnia, Kokichi Ouma’s best and worst friend. 

At least it didn’t leave him.

Kokichi sighed to himself. He stared blankly at some YouTube video he’d clicked on about four minutes ago. He wasn’t paying much attention. 

He sighed and clicked off of the video, scrolling through his Insta. 

Right, he forgot that he followed Saihara.

The first thing to come up was an image of Saihara with his arm around Akamatsu-san. He supposed those two stayed friends after high school. 

Akamatsu-san probably told him something about that when he was at her and Miu’s apartment, but he tended to block anything with the prefix of ‘Sai’ or ‘Shu’ out. 

Saihara still had his emo style, but he looked older now. He was taller, his hair was a bit longer, and his eyes were now a lighter shade of gold rather than grey. He was smiling at the camera with pearly white teeth and bright eyes. 

_Getting drinks for my 22nd birthday with kaede-chan ^^_

Oh… it was his birthday. 

Kokichi supposed a happy birthday DM wouldn’t hurt. 

...even if it’d be ignored like every other one. 

_hey, saihara. been a while. happy birthday, dude._

He went to set his phone off, but - 

**_Ouma-chan???_ **

_that’s me i think. sup._

**_ccan i call u pleas e_ **

**_i bhave the smae number as i did in high schoo l_ **

_you alr?_

**_pleas e vcall me_ **

_...o ok_

Kokichi put in the number he’d suppressed for all of three years. He didn’t even know that he remembered it until now. 

Saihara picked up immediately. 

_“Ouma-chan!”_

“Saihara...hey.”

_“I-It’s really you! Y-You c-called!”_

“Yeah, uh… I did…”

Saihara giggled deliriously on the other line, and Kokichi immediately realized that he was drunk. 

_Of course he’s drunk, he was at a bar earlier this night. Probably the only reason he wanted to talk to me._

_“I missed you Ouma-channnn!”_

“...Ouma-chan.”

_“Well you call me Saihara-chan, so I thought I could call you Ouma-chan…”_

“I - “

Saihara started crying. 

“Woah woah woah, hey, Saihara, what’s - “

 _“You don’t like it!”_ Saihara blubbered. 

“Saihara, hey - “  
 _“A-And you d-don’t c-c-call me Saihara-chan anymore!”_

“Okay, Saihara, I need you to calm down - “

_“I miss Ouma-channnn!”_

“Please don’t call me that.” Kokichi winced. 

Shuichi sobbed. _“I’M SORRY!!”_

“Hey! Chill, it’s fine.”

_“Ouma-channnn…”_

“What?” He sighed.

_“Can you open your door? Please?”_

“What? What do you mean, open - “

Kokichi’s apartment bell rang. 

“How the fuck do you know where I live?”

Saihara hung up.

Kokichi sighed and dragged himself up from his chair. 

Opening the door, Kokichi was immediately met with the smell of alcohol and someone lifting him up.

“Ouma-chan!!” A mirthful giggle came. 

Kokichi felt himself be spun around. 

“Ouma-chan!! Ouma-chan, Ouma-chan, Ouma-chan!!!”

“HEY! PUT ME DOWN, STUPIDHEAD! PUT ME DOWN, PUT ME DOWNNN!” Kokichi shouted, squirming and trying to get out of Shuichi’s grip. Shuichi just giggled and hugged him tightly.

“Ouma-chan!! Ouma-chan!! I missed you!! I missed you so much, Ouma-chan!!” Saihara said loudly. “Ouma-chan! You’re really here!! You’re here, Ouma-chan! I missed you so much, y-you don’t even know!”

“Put me down, put me down, Saihara!” Kokichi hissed, trying to compose himself. He’d seen drunk Shu - Saihara, before, and he knew that drunk Saihara cried. _A lot._ And crying-drunk-Saihara was _extremely_ loud. 

So preferably, Saihara wouldn’t be crying tonight. 

“Th-this is the best birthday ever!!” 

Saihara stumbled backwards suddenly - the alcohol must’ve been affecting his equilibrium. He went to fall directly into the wall, but Kokichi dug his heels into the carpet and grabbed Saihara’s shoulders to steady him.

Saihara blinked and tilted his head, probably thinking about something, if he had the same poses as -... when Kokichi knew him...better. 

Then he looked down to Kokichi. “My hero! You saved me, Ouma-chan! You saved me!” A goofy grin picked up his mouth as he reached down, going to pick him up again. 

“Nonono, I’m staying on the ground here, buddy.” Kokichi backed up slightly, putting his hands up. He sighed. “Rule number one. I stay on the ground.”

Saihara tapped his chin. “Oh… okay…!” 

Kokichi sighed. “Now, let’s get you to bed, and we can talk about this in the morning.” He reached for Saihara’s hand before choosing against it. Brought back too many memories. 

Saihara got closer to him and crouched down. He captured Kokichi in his arms again, though he didn’t lift him. “You’re so great, Ouma-chan…” He mumbled. “I missed you _soooo_ much, c-cause you’re - you’re the best, see?” Saihara’s head drooped onto his shoulder. 

“I’m not.” Kokichi deadpanned. He tried to continue walking, but Sh - Saihara - _stop making dumb mistakes -_ Saihara’s arms were preventing him from stepping forward.

“YEAH YOU ARE!!!!” Saihara’s volume greatly increased. 

Kokichi sighed for the eightieth time and slowly unlatched Saihara’s vise-like arms around him. “Can you let go of me, please?”

“D-Do you not want me t-to hug you…?” Saihara sniffled. 

_Ohnoohnoohno -_

“No, nO!” Kokichi’s voice cracked desperately, praying Saihara wouldn’t start sobbing. “I-I literally can’t walk.”

“O-Oh...okay…” Shuichi let go of him slowly. 

Kokichi started walking to his guest room. Saihara stayed behind, staring at a wall. “Are you coming?”

Saihara stepped closer to the wall. “Ouma-chan has a picture of us?” He gasped. 

Shit, he’d forgotten about that. 

_Maybe he just didn’t want to forget Saihara, even after he disappeared._

“Well, yeah, that was taken years ago. Middle school dance, I think.” Kokichi said bitterly. “Now come on.”

Saihara tilted his head and staggered towards Kokichi like a zombie. 

And he ran directly into a wall. 

“Owwwww…!” He whined.

Kokichi blinked. “Come on, Saihara.”

Shuichi muttered gibberish and tried following him again, thankfully. Kokichi finally got him into the guest room. 

“Okay, now lay down.” 

Saihara flopped into the bed dramatically. 

“Kiiiii, lay with me.”

_Nononononononononono._

“DON’T CALL ME THAT!” Kokichi snapped. 

“Wh-why? Y-you - you never had a-a problem w-w-with i-it before…!”

“I didn’t have a problem with it before you left me!” Kokichi spat, opening the door angrily. 

“I-I’m s-sorry!” Saihara started crying. 

Kokichi grit his teeth. He couldn’t find it in him to care about Shuichi crying anymore. Not when the memories were beating him over the head. 

In a fit of rage, Kokichi tore the picture of the two of them off of the wall. It shattered on the ground loudly and he scowled at it. 

_Screw you, Saihara. Screw you and your ability to walk away. Screw you and your ability to be happy after leaving. Screw you and your ability to stay friendly._

_Screw you for making me fall for you._

_Screw you for losing contact with me. Screw you for coming back three years later. Screw you for acting like it’s fine. Screw you and your smile. Screw you and your hugs. Screw you, Saihara Shuichi. Screw you and your perfect, untouchable self._

Kokichi didn’t realize he was outside until he was shivering in the cold September night air. He shut his sliding glass door and leaned on the balcony’s railing.

It was freezing out, actually. _I should go inside._

He stayed. 

The stars were barely shining tonight. The neighborhood was alight. Their Ultimate Detective’s birthday was something to celebrate. 

Saihara was a local celebrity after he pretty much scared crime-causers away with his skills. 

Kokichi knew Saihara lived in one of the relatively large houses in the bigger part of Green Hill. He knew that perfectly well, considering he’d posted about it on his Instagram sometimes. He just chose to ignore it.

Kokichi knew some people celebrated his birthday too sometimes. He was an actor at the venue in town. He also directed the drama departments at the high school and middle school. He was essentially the town’s go to drama kid. 

He sighed quietly and his breath turned white in the frigid air. It was so, so cold out tonight. 

The sliding glass door opened behind him. 

_Oh, just kill me already, will you?_

“Ouma-channnn?”

“Go to sleep, Saihara.”

He felt arms wrapping around him again. He squirmed away, met with more crying. 

“A-Are y-you mad at m-me?”

He sighed. 

“Y’know what, Saihara? I’m more than mad. What gives you the right to come back to my house after you walked out of my life? Huh? What gives you the right to stroll in here and pretend everything’s okay, when it’s _nowhere near okay!?_ Do you know just how much you hurt me!? Do you know how bleak my life has been ever since you just - just - _dropped me!?_ No, warning, just stopped talking to me!? I’ve known you since we were six, twelve years, Saihara, and all of that’s thrown away once we finish high school!”

“I-I - “

“Nothing you can say can fix this, I hope you know that.” Kokichi said coldly. “Go to bed. I’ll have Miu pick you up in the morning.”

Saihara looked at him like he wanted to say something else, but he just turned around and walked back into the house.

Kokichi stared up at the stars. So cold. He had to go inside.

He opened the door and walked back into the apartment. Slowly, he trudged into his bedroom, where he locked the door. 

* * *

  
  


Kokichi stepped out of his room, yawning and cracking his back. Five hours of sleep wasn’t bad, not for him, at least. He had no gigs today, either, so he could just lay around today.

He stepped into his kitchen for some cereal and a Panta, and -

_Oh._

Saihara sat there, scrolling through his phone. He was sipping water from a glass taken from his cabinet, and he was picking at a slice of toast. 

“I’m going to call Miu.” Kokichi said simply. 

Saihara quickly looked up, fumbling with his phone and trying to meet Kokichi’s eyes. “H-Hey, O-Ouma-kun, can we talk? P-Please?”

“No.” Kokichi said dismissively. He slammed his fridge open harder than necessary and saw Saihara flinch when it hit his chair.

“...that’s fair.”

“Does it look like I care about what’s fair anymore?” Kokichi muttered, kicking the fridge shut and ripping the cabinet open. 

“Y-You live in a relatively small apartment for s-someone so locally famous…” Saihara changed the subject.

Kokichi pulled the cereal out of the cabinet, dropped it onto the counter, and dumped the sugary mess of calories into the bowl. 

“Got no one to share it with, so what’s the point?” He spat. “Y’know, planned on getting a bigger place back when _someone_ said he wanted to move in with me!” He smirked bitterly. “But I guess that person isn’t around anymore, eh?”

“L-Look, I - “

“I don’t want you here. You know that, right? You can’t just walk back into my life out of nowhere and pretend that you never left. I don’t want to hear your explanation, I don’t want to know what you’ve been doing, I don’t want anything to do with you. So give up.”

Shuichi’s eyes turned glossy. 

“...I don’t have excuses. I don’t have any explanation but my own stupidity.” He whispered, sipping his water silently. 

“Whoop - de - doo, Saihara’s able to understand that he emotionally crippled his BFF! Get him a gold star, a medal, a statue! He’s a hero everyone!”

Saihara ducked his head. 

“...I hurt you badly, didn’t I?”

“Hurt me! Ha! Supreme Leaders don’t get hurt, don’t you know?” 

“B-But you just - “

“That’s a lie. It more than hurt. It crushed me, I hope you realize that. You - you can’t just come into my house one night and pretend that nothing happened.”

Kokichi felt wetness on his cheeks. Shit. 

He quickly wiped it off. “You obviously don’t realize, but you were one of the only people I had.” His voice cracked. “I’d think someone like you’d understand what it’s like to be lonely. I guess not, though.”

“I… l-look.” Saihara took a deep breath. “It was never okay for me to leave. I don’t have any excuses. B-But I… I want to try again. I-I - I understand if you don’t want to. That’s -... fair. I-I just -... would you like to go to get - coffee today?”

Kokichi stared. 

Shoulders slumped. “I-I shouldn’t have asked, I-I’m sorry, Oum - “ 

“I’ll be back. Sit on the couch and don’t touch anything.”

Saihara brightened immediately. “R-Right, y-yeah, I-I can do that.” 

Kokichi didn’t reply. He walked to his bedroom and slammed the door. 

_Why am I doing this to myself? He’s just going to hurt me again, why am I going out with him like this? Is it a date? No, no, that’s stupid. Even if it was, I wouldn’t treat it like one._

Kokichi opened his dresser and pulled out one of his purple plaid shirts, still comfortable, but at least a little formal. He grabbed his jeans to go with them and changed. 

_I can’t just - I have to take the chance. This is… he came back, I can’t let him go._ He decided, walking into the bathroom and tugging a brush through his messy bedhead.

 _I am not throwing away my shot._ He applied just a touch of eyeliner for flare. _No matter how small._

With that in mind, he exited his room. “Get your coat on.” He said, tugging his light blue fleece over his shoulders. 

Saihara sighed. “I-I uh - didn’t bring one. I don’t remember how I got here, really. I-I just remember getting your ah… Instagram DM, and I guess I remember coming here when you first moved… I-I was kinda walking to my house, a-and I realized where I was, and just - ran up the stairs to get here, I guess.” 

Kokichi pursed his lips. He searched through his closet and found a large sweater Saihara’d given to him years ago. He tossed it at him. “Here, give it back at the end of the day.”

“O-Oh, ah -... Thanks.” Saihara’s voice became very small as he pulled the light grey hoodie over his head. 

Kokichi opened the door to exit. He leapt up to grab the keys off of the hook, but missed. He huffed under his breath and hopped up again, just barely grazing it. 

Saihara came up behind him and picked up the keys with ease, curse him and his lucky non-shortness. “H-Here.” He handed him the keys shyly. 

Kokichi sighed. “Thanks.” He mumbled. The keys were stuffed into his pocket, and he strolled out of the apartment nonchalantly. 

Saihara walked behind him quietly. 

* * *

  
  


Shuichi silently fiddled with his hoodie sleeve. Here they sat, in the middle of a coffee shop. 

The detective sipped his iced coffee. Ouma, sitting across from him, sipped his sugary disgrace to humanity; he’d ordered a coffee with nineteen cups of cream, sugar cubes, whipped cream, and even a cherry on top. It didn’t even look like coffee anymore, it looked like a sundae you’d get at happy hour. It was a cup of straight diabetes, he swore. 

“Y-You look rather formal, you used to always wear... ah… cartoon shirts. Did you finally set that Spongebob t-shirt on fire?” He joked awkwardly, mortified he didn’t know. 

His own fault. If he’d stuck around, he’d know.

Saihara took another sip of his coffee. 

And… Ouma laughed. 

A warmth filled Shuichi’s chest. He did that, he made Ouma laugh. He did that… A smile gently lifted his lips. Maybe it could all go back to how it was. Even if it took a while. 

Shuichi would wait as long as it took. If he died waiting, fine. 

His own fault. If he’d stuck around, nothing would’ve been different.

“I still wear them, though more around the house these days, or with friends.” 

Ouch.

Ouma seemed to notice Shuichi’s visible disgust of Mt. Sugar over there, and he giggled. “What, don’t like my coffee?” 

“It looks like you went to the world of that one boardgame and dragged your poor coffee through the whipped-cream mud.” 

Ouma smirked. “Okay, and? Yours looks like you shat in it.” 

“I-It’s naturally the color brown!” 

“You could’ve added cream to lighten it!”

“Too much sugar makes my teeth hurt!”

“Ha! Normie!”

Shuichi laughed. “I suppose, but that doesn’t mean you’re not going to get cavities from drinking that.” 

“My dentist knows me, don’t worry.” Ouma winked. 

Shuichi’s cheeks went red. His heart fluttered. 

He may or may not have been in love with his best friend. Er, previous best friend…

… there was a reason he had to leave. 

He had to leave, or he’d - he’d mess something up - a-and then Ouma would hate him...he had to leave, he had to, it wasn’t right, he had to leave, Ouma deserved better, he had to leave. 

Of course, Ouma already hated him. Guess he found a way to screw it up anyway. 

It was all the alcohol’s fault. He had self control, really, he did! He never would’ve even gone near Ouma’s apartment if he was sober. But the delirious state he was in sent him stumbling, tripping over his feet, and suddenly he was in an apartment and ringing the doorbell.

Ouma, beautiful, shiny, wonderful Ouma, answered the door, and the excitement he felt was immeasurable. He just had to hug him. Everything felt dreamlike, and he had Ouma in his arms, and he felt like a prince in a fairy tale. 

Ouma tucked him in like a child, and Shuichi wanted nothing more than he wanted to cuddle Ouma, hug him, have Ouma hug him back, fall asleep to Ouma’s smile. 

But then he messed up...and Ouma got mad at him…

Ouma hated him, he didn’t want Ouma to hate him! He...he wanted Ouma to love him...so why was Ouma so angry? Why was Ouma stomping away? Ouma was supposed to - to love him! Why wasn’t he lying with him?? Why, why, why?

Now that he was sober, he knew perfectly well why. Now, the question was why Ouma sat here with him.

He wasn’t complaining, oh, no no, he savored every moment of this, in fact. He just didn’t know why it was happening. He didn’t deserve it, not by any means. 

He appreciated it though.

Ouma sipped his coffee(?) and just raised an eyebrow. Shuichi gave him a small smile and looked away. 

“Something wrong?” Asked the liar as he set down his drink. Shuichi shook his head.

“N-No, nothing. I-It’s um… really nice to see you, you know?” He smiled shyly. “I-I’ve missed you.”

Ouma’s eyes went blank. The young leader shrugged and sipped his mess. 

_I made things weird._ Shuichi sighed mentally, taking a small sip of his life force in liquid form. _Nice one._

Ouma wiped his mouth with his sleeve, and Shuichi remembered the look on Ouma’s face upon giving him his sweater. 

He cracked a small smile. Ouma still had his sweater…

“I-I um… I-I heard y-you were good a-at um acting? So I ah… I went to see one of your shows o-once. Y-You’re… r-really good at your job…”

“You don’t have to be so afraid of me. I don’t bite. Unless you really piss me off, but y’know.” Ouma grinned.

Shuichi bit his bottom lip. “Right, sorry. Y-You’re just ah… a bit intimidating.” He laughed nervously. “It’s just… been a while, you know?” 

Ouma went quiet. 

“Well, I believe I’ve had about enough of this meeting for today.” He stood up. Shuichi winced. 

_I messed it up, shit. Shit, shit shit._

Ouma pushed in his chair and picked up his coffee. “You can keep the sweater, I guess. It’s yours anyway.” 

With that, he left.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Sai leaned against his dark car with a slightly shy grin on his face. 

“So, are you ready?”

Kokichi skipped outside. “Easy, tiger, I’m not sliding into your bedroom that quickly.” He smirked. 

Sai choked loudly. A snicker escaped Kokichi’s lips. “You’re so flustered, Sai, it’s truly adorable.” Sai just looked down, his smile widening just a bit.

“Th...thanks.”

“Annnnyway! Come on, lemme see your awesome pad! Do you have a trampoline?! A pool?? How about a playground!?? Ooh! Ooh! Do you have an awesome sex dungeon!? I’m just _dying_ in anticipation, nishishi!”

The color of red that was simply sitting on Sai’s cheeks grew greatly. “Hate to disappoint, but I don’t have an um… intercourse… dungeon. I-I do have a pool, though... “ 

“Waitwaitwaitwait! I’ll be right back! I’m gonna go get my bathing suit! Unless you wanna skinnydip and look at my ass…” 

Sai cleared his throat. “Ah… no.”

“Awww man! Okay!” 

Kokichi turned on his heel and ran back up into the apartment complex. He opened his door quickly and skipped into his bedroom. 

He searched through the drawers until he found his rather long swim trunks. A small smile creeped onto his face. 

The air conditioning blew against his face as he slid down the banister. Elevator? Yuck, that was for normies. He kept his trunks balled up in his fists and leaped off of the railing. 

As the sun hit his face, he shivered slightly. The transition of going from the overly ACed building to the warm weather of Green Hill, Japan, would do that to someone. 

Sai was still leaning on his car, whistling some song on the radio and tapping his fingers on the hood. It was a nice car, his job must’ve paid well, especially considering how popular he was. Earlier he’d explained that he usually only took cases he believed in, unless they paid thousands of dollars, of course. He wasn’t stupid. 

“Okie-doke! I’m readddyyyyyy!” Kokichi trotted over to Sai’s car. He reached for the passenger door. 

Sai shook his head and opened the door with a slight bow. “Please, take your seat, my good sir.” 

They chuckled as Kokichi got into the car. Sai shut the door for him and walked to his side. 

Arcades, Kokichi’s apartment, the coffeeshop, the beach, a fancy restaurant. Movie ticket stubs, Instagram pictures, carpets before fireplaces, old cartoons, the changing of seasons, light streaming through windows early in the morning, true crime shows, coffee and fizzy soda. Chilly mornings, humid afternoons, cold nights. Hugs, headpats, friendly cuddling. Trips to a theatre, trips to an agency. 

All of these things made up Sai and Kokichi. 

Was there trust there?

If you’d asked Kokichi that about eleven months ago, he’d most definitely say no, and he’d probably shove you out of his apartment for daring to mention that name. 

Now?

It was back. Currently. Things changed sometimes, but overall, Sai had shown no sign of wanting to leave again.

Sure, there had been arguments, things weren’t perfect. 

_“Would you stop trying to be my childhood friend!? That’s not what you are anymore! You know that, right!?”_

_“What, I’m not allowed to bring things that happened in the past up!? Wh-what do you want me to do?!”_

_“I - s-stop talking about things that happened, because I - I don’t want to remember!”_

_“I know y-you’re mad! I-I u-understand that! I-I know its probably going to take years to get you to trust me again, and I-I’m prepared for that! B-But I - I need t-to - I-I need you to try too! I-If you don’t want to be friends, th-that’s fine! But tell me that now so th-that you don’t end up hurting both of us!”_

_“OH, SO I’M THE ONE HURTING YOU NOW!”_

_“THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!”_

_“THEN WHAT DID YOU MEAN!?”_

_“I MEANT - “_

_“GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT!”_

_“FINE!”_

To be honest to himself, it was mainly Kokichi who started the arguments, and often for stupid reasons. 

They always made up, though. 

_“Saihara Shuichi.”_

_“He’s in the office down the hall, sir.”_

_Kokichi walked down the hallway slowly. His knuckles rapped weakly on the door._

_“Come in, please.”_

_The door swung open with a creak. Saihara froze._

_“Ouma. What can I do to help you?”_

_“Look, I -... I wanted to apologize. For yelling at you. That wasn’t fair to you.”_

_“Y...You’re...apologizing?”_

_“Well don’t look too surprised…”_

_“O-Oh, w-well I - I forgive you… U-Um, would you like to hang out later? I-I have to um - work today, but ah…”_

_“I - I brought you lunch…” Kokichi looked away and held up a brown paper bag sheepishly._

_“O-Oh! Thank you, I-I can take my lunch right now and we can hang out for a bit.”_

Kokichi snickered, “What a gentleman Saihara-chan is. I bet you’re super good with the ladies, nishishishi!”

Sai shrugged. “W-Well, I suppose so? Though I believe that’s more because of my reputation I think… I-I’m not - hm… I’m already um - interested in someone romantically, so um...I usually prefer to ignore it.”

“Ooooh, Sai’s in loveeee! So, who’s the lucky lady?? Huh? Huh? Huh? Who’s sittin’ in a tree with Saihara-chan? Hmmmmmmmmm?”

_Absolutely fucking wonderful._

“A-Ahah… um… I-I’d prefer not to… say who it is, but they’re ah - a guy.” Sai went bright red and started driving. 

“Haha, Saihara-chan came to the dark side, huh?! Well, I support him no matter how dumb his crush is! Unless it’s smelly Momota-chan, nishishi!”

Sai gave him a small smile. “A-Ah… thanks.” He started driving.

“Anyway!! Tell me about him! I wanna learn all about him to find out if he’s an acceptable partner for my beloved Saihara-chan, nishishishi!”

“Ah...um… well… H-He’s… childish. A-And funny… he’s absolutely adorable, e-especially when he smiles. H-He’s rather touchy, and h-his hands are really warm…”

Shyly, Sai looked at Kokichi. “He’s truly wonderful. I-I ah… I plan on telling him one of these days, but I-I’m almost positive he’ll reject me.” His eyes flit back to the road. “I-I try and look on the bright side, re-really, I do, b-but ah... I’ll probably never end up telling him.” 

“Aw, come on, Sai-chan! No one would ever reject someone as cool as you!”

“O-Oh...thank you.” Sai gave him a small smile. 

“I’m just doing what I do best! Telling the truth, nishishishi!”

“But that’s a lie, isn’t it?”   
“You know me so well, Sai-chan!” Kokichi giggled. Warm, so warm, from his fingers to his toes, Sai’s words spread like liquid serotonin. 

“I’d hope so, I’ve known you pretty much my whole life…” Sai looked to the road. 

They were in the rich neighborhood. Kokichi should’ve been here, he had the money, too, but there was something about his apartment that was warm and cozy. It was warm in the winter and cool in the summer, and that was all that he needed. 

Everything he ever needed was in that apartment. 

Everything but someone else. 

Someone to hold him, play video games with. Someone to wake up to, someone to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner with. Someone to hug him, someone to scoop him up. 

He was lonely. But that was his own fault, wasn’t it? He was the one who refused to move on after Sai left. He knew it was unhealthy. Kiibo, Miu and Rantaro reached out to him and everything, and yet it took two years for him to even consider talking to someone again.

“A-Ah, we’re here.” 

Sai’s anxious voice cut him from his thoughts. “Ooh, Sai-chan has such a neat pad! Do you got a big slide that goes from the top floor to the bottom? Do you have a _sex dungeon???_ ” 

“No! T-To either of those!”

“Awww, man! Sai-chan’s not kinky?”

“I - Kokichi, what the actual fuck?” 

_He said my given name._ The thought made Kokichi feel all fluttery inside. 

Kokichi giggled again and hopped out of the car. Sai stepped out after Kokichi was safely out of the car. The car let out a beeping sound as he locked it. 

Sai walked to the front door and held it open for him. He gave him a slight bow. Kokichi giggled. “So gentlemanly.” 

“A-Ah, no, I’m really only being polite…” 

“And humble too! Shumai really has it all!” Sai went red.

“N-No, I - “ 

Kokichi lifted his finger to Sai’s lips. Warm breath tickled his fingers, then stopped. Sai was absolutely frozen in his spot. 

“Hush. You’re great.”

Kokichi’s eyes flit up. Sai’s eyes were wide. His cheeks were cherry red. He was - well, certainly disgruntled. 

“Go on, say it back.” A smirk grew on Kokichi’s face. 

“I-I don’t um - “ 

“Say. It. Back.” 

Kokichi felt like his body was moving on its own. 

A hand that was connected to Kokichi’s arm lifted and oh so gently caressed Shuichi’s cheek. 

“Idon’t - “

“Say it back.” 

So close, Kokichi leaned in. Their foreheads were touching. He moved his finger from Shuichi’s lips.

“Say it back.”

“I’m… g...reat…?”

Shuichi’s breath washed across his lips. Just a few inches and - 

Kokichi moved away. 

“Yaayyy! Shumai did it!” 

“...y-yeah… l-let’s just - go swimming, right?”

“Yay! Let’s go!”

* * *

  
  
  


It had been so close. So, so close. Ouma-chan had been right there, what, two inches away? He was right there, all Shuichi had to do was close the gap. 

So why didn’t he?

_Why didn’t I do it? He was right there, I had him right in front of me._

“Heyyyyy! No overthinking your third grade argument about chalk in the pool! Wet your face with the water, not your tears, silly!”

“Hm? A-Ah, sorry.” Shuichi gave him a slight smile. 

“You missed my dive! WAHHHHH! SAI-CHAN IS SO MEAN!”

“I thought you said no crying in the pool? Besides, you didn’t dive, I would’ve heard it. And there’s no disturbance in the pool”

Ouma-chan’s tears stopped immediately. He giggled. “I just love it when Sai-chan calls me out on my BS!”

“I-Is that a lie?”

“Nnnnnope! Now watch me dive!” 

The water dripped off of the ends of Ouma-chan’s hair. He pulled himself out of the pool - not using the steps, he crawled out - and skipped over to the diving board. 

Shuichi never really used the diving board. The last time he tried, he landed in the water wrong and smacked his stomach so hard on the water that it left a red mark. Honestly, he was slightly afraid of it now. 

Ouma-chan cheerfully climbed onto the white board and paused. 

“Are you watching me, Sai-chan? Huh? Huh? Huh?” He was practically bouncing with excitement.

“I-I’m watching.” 

Ouma-chan grinned. He bent his legs and leaped into the air. 

With a graceful flip (something he would most definitely fail at if he tried, and would likely snap his neck), Ouma-chan slipped headfirst into the water. 

Ouma-chan popped right back out of the water. “Did ya see it??? Did you see my dive, Sai-chan?!”

Shuichi smiled and patted his head. The sensation of Ouma-chan’s wet hair was soothing under his fingers, so he slowly stroked it. 

Ouma-chan seemingly melted under his touch. It would be a lie to say he didn’t like the reaction he was getting. 

“I-I saw, it was very cool.” 

Ouma-chan snickered and ducked away from Shuichi’s hand. Shuichi hid his frown. “Nishishishi! Well, of course it was cool! I did it!”

“Y-Yeah, true.” Shuichi smiled. Instincts told him to kiss Ouma-chan’s forehead. _Nope._

Ouma-chan smiled brightly. “Now it’s your turn!”

“Ah… no.”

“Agh! Foiled again by the great Shuichi Saihara-chan!”

_He used my first name, holy shit, he used my first name._

Shuichi giggled. “You’ll get me next time, I’m sure.” 

“Oh, but of course! The villain has to win so that the season finale is actually interesting, duhhh!”

“Right. Gotta make sure the viewers actually watch, right?” Shuichi played along. 

Ouma-chan leaped onto his back, sending him stumbling. Pool water splashed up, dangerously close to Shuichi’s eyes. 

“Nishishi! Did I surprise my beloved Shu-chan?”

“Eheh -... a little bit.” 

“Good! I don’t wanna be boring!”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


“Happy twenty-fifth birthday, Shu!”

The detective’s eyes went wide and his cheeks reddened. A small, giddy smile appeared on his face. “Thanks, Kokichi.” 

Chocolate cake, he’d remembered. Chocolate cake was Shuichi’s favorite. Kokichi smiled and kissed Shuichi’s cheek. 

Kokichi leaned on Shuichi. “Now blow out the candles, silly! Those were actually four hundred and eight dollars, but I traded the pirate king my left kidney! Don’t let it go to waste!”

“That’s a lot to pay for some birthday candles, Kichi, dear.” 

“Of course! Only the best for my dearly beloved Shuichi! Now blow them out and make a wish, or I’ll cart you off to Siberia like all my past lovers!”

Shuichi leaned forwards and blew out the candles on his small slice of cake. He looked up at Kokichi. “I wish that we’ll be able to be happy like this forever…”

_He’ssowholesomewhatamIgoingtodowiththisman?_

“Shu, you sap! You’re not supposed to say it aloud!”

“Ah, well. Cuddles?”

“We cuddled this morning. And last night. And the afternoon before - “

“Pleaseee?”

Kokichi huffed loudly, as if it was some huge request. Obviously, it was not. If he was honest, he really liked how warm and close Shuichi got when they did cuddle on the couch. Maybe, if he was lucky, he’d even convince Shuichi to make out with him without looking like he wanted to jump out the window in embarrassment!

“Fineeee, finish your cake, though!” 

Shuichi smiled brightly. Worth it. So worth it. 

Kokichi cut himself a piece of cake and started shoveling it into his mouth. A faint snickering came from Shuichi. “What?” He asked, mouth full. 

Shuichi reached for his face and wiped Kokichi’s chin with his thumbs. “You eat so messily, it’s adorable.” 

“N-No! Hey! Supreme leaders aren’t adorable! They’re fearsome and evil!”

“I don’t think Supreme leaders cuddle with their spouses all the time and give great hea - “ 

“You finish that sentence and I won’t cuddle you for a month, Shu.” Kokichi scrunched his nose up and scowled playfully. 

“Ahah, that’s a bit much, Koki - “

Kokichi stared at him. 

“Fine, fine.” Shuichi relented. He ate his cake quicker than he usually would. In his defense, there was something very important on the line. Cuddles.

He finished around the same time as Kokichi did, a little after. The chair screeched as it was pushed back. 

Kokichi skipped over to Shuichi. He buried his face into Shuichi’s chest. “Cuddles?” His voice was muffled. 

“Cuddles.” Shuichi agreed. With that, he scooped Kokichi up into his arms and walked off to their warm bed. 


End file.
